Things you’ll never see in a fortune cookie…
from Bits & Pieces by
admin - “Man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time.”
- “Man trapped in pantry have ass in jam.”
- “Virgin like balloon…one prick, all gone.”
- “Baseball wrong…man with four balls cannot walk!”
- “Work to become, not to acquire.”
- “Baby conceived in automatic car shiftless bastard.”
- “A bird in hand makes hard to blow nose.”
- “Find old man in dark, not hard!”
- “Man who smoke pot choke on handle.”
- “OK for shit to happen…will decompose.”
- “Man who put head on railroad track to listen for train likely to end up with splitting headache.”
- “Sailor who gets discharged from Navy leave buddies behind.”
- “Secretary becomes permanent fixture when screwed on desk.”
- “Don’t drink and park, accidents cause people.”
- “He who crosses the ocean twice without washing is a dirty double-crosser.”
- “Man who tell one to many light bulb jokes soon burn out!”
- “It takes many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.”
- “Never raise hands to angry child, it leave groin exposed.”
- “Woman who cooks carrots and peas in same pot is unsanitary.”
- “Man who eat many prunes, sit on toilet many moons.”
- “Confucius say too God damn much!”
- “Those who quote me are fools.”
- “Man who drive like hell bound to get there!”
- “Man who keep feet firmly on ground have trouble putting on pants!”
- “Man who stand on toilet is high on pot!”
- “Man who sit on tack get point!”
- “Man who runs behind car gets exhausted!”
- “Man who jump off cliff jump to conclusion!”
- “War not determine who’s right, war determines who’s left.”
- “Woman who goes to man’s apartment for snack, gets titbit.”
- “Man who lay woman on ground, get piece on earth.”
- “Man who gets kicked in testicles, left holding the bag.”
- “Man who kisses girl’s behind, gets crack in face.”
- “Passionate kiss like spider web…lead to undoing of fly.”
- “Man with holes in pants pockets, feels cocky all day.”
- “Man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night.”
- “Kotex not best thing on earth, but next to best thing.”
- “Man who walk through airport door sideways is going to Bangkok.”
- “Man who take lady on camping trip, have one intent.”
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